I know what you're picturing: all four of you in coordinated outfits, sitting on a blanket in perfect golden light, everyone smiling at the camera at exactly the same moment.
Now let me tell you what actually happens: someone's shoe comes untied, the toddler found a stick and won't let go of it, your teenager is making a face that says "I'd rather be anywhere else," and the baby just spit up on the outfit you spent 45 minutes picking out.
And you know what? That's fine. Actually, it's better than fine—because the photos that come out of the beautiful chaos of a real family session are infinitely more interesting than a stiff, posed lineup where everyone looks vaguely uncomfortable.
Here's how to set yourself up for a session that's actually fun—and produces photos you'll genuinely want to hang on your wall.
Outfits: Please Don't Match
I'm going to say this as clearly as I can: you do not need matching outfits. The all-jeans-and-white-button-ups look had its moment. That moment has passed.
Here's what actually works:
Pick a Color Palette, Not Matching Clothes
Choose 2-3 colors that play well together and let everyone pick their own outfit within that palette. The goal is cohesion, not uniformity.
Palettes that photograph beautifully for families:
- Jewel tones — burgundy, navy, emerald, mustard. Rich and vibrant without being overwhelming.
- Earth tones — olive, rust, cream, brown. Warm and natural, especially for outdoor sessions.
- Pastels — soft pink, light blue, lavender, sage. Airy and dreamy, great for spring sessions.
- Cool neutrals — navy, gray, denim, cream. Classic and clean.
The key is that everyone stays in the same tonal world. Dad in navy, mom in cream, the kids in soft blues and whites? That looks intentional and cohesive without looking like you all just walked out of a Gap jeans ad.
Let People Wear What They're Comfortable In
Your toddler's favorite dinosaur shirt? It's fine. Your teenager wants to wear all black? Works great with the right palette. Your partner refuses to wear anything but jeans? Jeans are perfect.
The photos look better when everyone feels like themselves. A kid who's uncomfortable in stiff "nice" clothes is going to look uncomfortable in every single photo. A kid who's wearing something they love is going to look happy. I'll take happy over "Pinterest-perfect" any day.
Textures Over Patterns
Solid colors with different textures—knit sweaters, denim, linen, corduroy—photograph beautifully together and create visual interest without competing with each other.
Busy patterns (especially small prints or stripes) can be distracting in photos and tend to create a moiré effect on camera. One person in a subtle pattern is fine. Four people in four different busy patterns is a lot.
Bring a Backup for the Kids
This is an underrated tip, especially if your kids are wearing light colors.
My sessions involve a lot of running around, playing, and generally being kids—which is how we get those incredible candid moments. But running through grass in a white shirt comes with risk. One slide, one muddy puddle, one enthusiastic hug from a dog, and that crisp white top has a grass stain.
Bring a backup shirt in a similar color. If something happens, we swap it out in 30 seconds and keep going. The candid moment was worth the stain, and you've got a clean option for the rest of the session.
Timing: Work Around Your Kids, Not the Light
Here's a take that might surprise you coming from a photographer: I'd rather shoot in imperfect light with happy kids than in perfect golden hour with miserable ones.
Golden hour—that magical window an hour before sunset—has incredible light. But you know what else it has? Tired, hungry kids who've been up since 6am and are completely over it by 6pm.
Schedule Around Your Kids' Rhythm
You know your children better than anyone. If your toddler naps from 1-3pm and is a delight at 3:30 but a disaster by 5:30, let's shoot at 3:30. If your baby is a morning person who's all smiles at 9am but falls apart after lunch, let's shoot at 9am.
Tell me this when you book. Seriously. I can make the lighting work at any time of day—that's my job. What I can't do is make a cranky toddler smile on command. Work with your kids' natural schedule and I'll handle the rest.
How Long Will It Take?
Most family sessions run 45-90 minutes depending on the package and the number of kids involved. That's enough time to get a variety of setups, outfit changes if needed, and plenty of candid moments without pushing anyone past their limit.
For families with very young kids (under 3), I often recommend starting with the posed family shots first—when everyone's energy is highest and the outfits are cleanest—then transitioning into the play-based candid portion where things get looser and messier and more fun.
Activities: Your Secret Weapon Against Meltdowns
This is the single biggest tip I can give families with young kids: bring activities.
Not screens. Physical, interactive things that create genuine moments AND keep kids engaged. Here's what works:
Activities That Photograph Beautifully
- Reading a book together — A parent reading to kids is one of the most universally beautiful family photos. Genuine focus, closeness, natural body language.
- Playing a simple game — Tag, hide and seek, "I spy." Anything that gets everyone moving and laughing.
- Blowing bubbles — Kids go absolutely wild for bubbles, and they catch light in photos gorgeously.
- A favorite toy or stuffed animal — Gives little hands something to hold and adds personality to the photos.
- Snacks — Sharing a treat (cookies, fruit, ice cream) creates natural, cozy moments. Plus: fed kids are happy kids.
- Tickle attacks — The most genuine laughs I've ever captured have been during surprise tickle moments. Works for all ages.
Why This Matters
More activities = more engagement = less meltdowns.
When a 3-year-old has something to do, they forget about the camera entirely. That's when I get the real stuff—the scrunched-up nose laughing face, the wide-eyed wonder, the way they lean into their parent when they're focused on something. You can't pose that. It only happens naturally.
And for the adults: when you're playing with your kids instead of trying to pose for a photo, you relax. Your shoulders drop, your smile gets real, your body language becomes natural. Everyone wins.
Location: Keep It Simple
You don't need to travel to a scenic overlook for great family photos. In fact, the best sessions often happen in familiar, comfortable spaces.
Great options:
- Your favorite park — Built-in activities (playgrounds, trails, water features) and your kids already know the space
- Your backyard — Familiar = relaxed. Plus, it makes the photos extra meaningful
- A spot you visit regularly — The trail you hike on weekends, the playground you hit every Saturday, your neighborhood ice cream shop
- Somewhere with shade and space — Open areas with nearby trees give me lighting options and give your kids room to run
The priority is a space where your family feels comfortable enough to be themselves. A stunning location where everyone is stressed and lost and looking for parking is worse than your backyard where the kids can run free.
What to Expect During the Session
Here's a typical flow so you know what's coming:
First 10-15 minutes: The warm-up Everyone is a little stiff. Kids are sizing me up. I'm making terrible jokes and acting goofy to break the ice. We'll start with some easy family groupings while everyone gets comfortable.
Middle 30-45 minutes: The good stuff This is where the real photos happen. We'll move between setups—full family, parents together, sibling shots, individual kid moments. I'll mix posed (but natural) groupings with completely candid play time. The activities come out here.
Last 10-15 minutes: The magic By now everyone's forgotten I exist. The kids are being kids. The parents are being parents. I'm just documenting. This is usually where I get the "how did you even capture that?" photos—the moments that happen between the moments.
If someone melts down: We pause. We take a snack break. We take a walk. It happens at almost every session with little kids, and it's never a problem. Some of my favorite photos have come from the recovery moment after a meltdown—when a parent scoops up a tearful toddler and holds them close. That's real life. That's love. That photographs beautifully.
The Prep Checklist
The Week Before
- Choose a color palette and coordinate (not match) outfits
- Try everything on the kids to check fit and comfort
- Prep a backup outfit for each kid (especially light colors)
- Communicate your kids' schedule and ideal timing with me
- Pick 2-3 activities or props to bring
The Day Of
- Feed everyone before the session (hangry kids = no fun for anyone)
- Nap time honored (rested kids = happy kids)
- Pack: backup outfits, snacks, water, wipes, activities, a favorite toy
- Steam or iron the outfits (wrinkles show up more than you'd expect)
- Give everyone a heads-up: "We're going to take some photos and play some games. It'll be fun and then we'll get ice cream." (Bribery is valid parenting.)
Mindset
- Let go of the matching-smiles-looking-at-camera fantasy
- Trust that chaos produces the best photos
- Remember: I've worked with kids who've thrown full tantrums, refused to smile, cried for 10 minutes straight, and hidden behind their parents the entire time. We still got beautiful photos. Every single time.
A Note for the Reluctant Teenager
I see you back there with your arms crossed, wishing you were literally anywhere else. I get it. Family photos feel cringey when you're 14.
Here's the deal: I'm not going to make you do anything weird. No forced smiles, no "say cheese," no cringe poses. I'm just going to chat with you like a normal person while your parents do their thing, and then we'll grab a few natural shots that don't make you want to delete your existence.
Most teenagers warm up after about 5 minutes once they realize I'm not going to torture them. Some of my favorite family session moments are the genuine laughs I get out of the reluctant teen. Your parents will cherish those photos more than you can possibly understand right now.
The Bottom Line
Family photos aren't about getting one perfect shot. They're about documenting this specific season of your life—however chaotic, messy, beautiful, and exhausting it is right now.
Your toddler won't be this small again. Your teenager won't live at home forever. The way your family looks, sounds, and feels right now is worth capturing, even if (especially if) it includes a meltdown, a grass stain, and a teenager who's "literally dying" of embarrassment.
Skip the matching khakis. Bring the bubbles. Trust the process. And know that even when it feels like a disaster in the moment, I'll find the moments worth keeping—because they're always there.
Ready to document your beautiful chaos? Let's plan a session that works around your family's schedule, not the other way around.
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